An Unnatural Wonder!

I have been doing some investigating using cryptozoological logic, and I have inferred the existence of a hitherto unknown species of animal, which I shall dub, "homo republicanensis". They are a quite remarkable subspecies of the human family, and they have all the makings of the branch to adapt and survive all the human follies we are unrepentantly inflicting upon our planet and society. I have deduced the emergence of this cryptid in the human scene, because libertarians, Tea-Party Folk and Republicans keep alluding to these superior beings in their arguments. Apparently homo republicanensis differs from the normal human beings, with whom you and I come into daily contact, in the following respects: this subspecies does not get cancer from carcinogenic chemicals being dumped into our water system or put in our food, they are not vulnerable to the harmful effects of poverty, they do not need health-care services, they can meet all the expenses of life on a mere minimum wage job, they do not require a decent public education to excel in the world, they never get mental illness, they can prosper physically even if they have to live on the street in a cardboard box, they are able to find money left over after taking care of their necessities to pay the taxes the rich won't in order to fund the needs of our military industrial complex, and they are basically self-cleaning when they die. It is such a boon that a portion of the human population has evolved or mutated into a form so adaptive to the requirements of the reigning elite of our country. If all the normal human beings who have all those pesky needs and vulnerabilities die off, homo republicanensis can just step in and do the job of being the sole and homogeneous drudge -- I mean citizen -- of our fair nation. Then the conservatives can finally get their wish: a government that doesn't get bothered to do anything but what it was meant to do: protect greed and build weapons. In the meantime, I am moving on to a new theory with regard to this probable (and as yet hidden) new subspecies of human: I think that they must really be androids -- mere flesh and blood could not endure what they evidently do. Do androids get to vote?